(good life)

(good life)

for years now i have had 

this daydream, this fantasy 

of driving in the car

with the music cranked almost too loud

to the song where the energy’s high and the 

lyrics are meaningful and there’s that 

mainly instrumental part that offers a nice break from my 

unabashedly off-key singing

the windows are down so my hair is just about everywhere but 

where it should be

and apart from the focus needed to drive

i let go     of everything

let my muscles and bones wave and shake and swirl and bounce 

to the tune that fills my every fiber

vibrates my every molecule 

with sounds that feel like feelings

of nostalgia under way

and i peek in the rearview mirror to see 

a child dancing just as unapologetically in the backseat 

giggling and arms raised as if she was on the best rollercoaster ride of her life 

a feeling of bliss, freedom,

of sacred connection between her

  the music 

  and me

but before today i was confused by this fantasy 

because i have known for quite some time now that 

i do not wish to have children of my own.

so for years i’ve been questioning,

who is this child that brings me so much joy? 

today i realized that little girl 

is me

she is the little me that so scarcely got to feel so free then

and now

she is the free-spirited, magical spark that is within me 

inside me

always 

encouraging me to turn up the music, let our hair get wild

to dance like only i am watching her,

and only she is watching me.

@paige.thepoet