(new year, new friend)

(new year, new friend)

After December had its last exhale

But while her heart still held it near

She inhaled a quick breath with January

And reflected on her past year 

She thought she could post her year in review

Share a montage or highlight reel

With a simple caption that summarized 

How this past year made her feel

While she purely wished to celebrate

Her inner perfectionist got in her head

So as she reminisced the year she had

It turned into list-making instead

She bulleted out every triumph

Every moment of success

All the quiet times of joy

All the moments she felt her best

Every challenge, every hurdle 

Every strain on her brain 

Everything that made her cry

Everything that caused her pain

She tried recounting every single moment 

Afraid to leave anything out

As it would feel like a mistake

Which riddled her with doubt 

She then heard her inner perfectionist

A voice she couldn’t often hush 

Flood her head with criticism 

And turn all other thinking to mush 

So she stared at the list before her

Tempted to scrap this whole plan

Feeling stuck in ADHD paralysis 

Begging for “I can’t” to become “I can”

As her perfectionist rambled on and on

She began to feel a sense of defeat

When suddenly another voice spoke up

And asked the perfectionist to take a seat

The new voice spoke with true kindness

Woven with a rebellious type of conviction

This voice made space for all of her feelings

Without a single restriction 

The new voice reminded her that perfectionism 

Is an inner critic at its core

Setting impossible standards 

That feel impossible to ignore

Then this friendly inner voice of rebellion

Gestured towards the end of her list

Whispered without any tone of judgment, 

“There’s one thing you may have missed.”

So she picked up her phone and with a steady exhale

Typed a final point to her list’s end

“And am learning to be easier on myself” she read aloud

Thankful for her kind inner friend 

Because this final point on her list also serves 

As a beginning to the new year

It’s the friend turning towards the perfectionist to say,

“It's okay. I’ll take it from here.”

Challenging perfectionist tendencies

However, is certainly no easy task 

It will not be overcome overnight 

It will not go away if politely asked 

But listening more to her own inner friend 

Especially when life feels hard

Will quiet the inner perfectionist 

And make her feel safe to let down her guard

It will allow her to try, allow her to fail

Let her be weird and wild 

It will let her be herself in all that she is

Woman, inner friend, inner child

It will allow her to celebrate in messy ways 

With an imperfect Instagram post

It will encourage her to be a friend to herself

And above all else, to love herself more most

@paige.thepoet